This post was prompted by Reflections:Family.
The beginning was difficult. Looking back after over thirteen years, I can barely remember things. My parents had divorced many years before, and my father had married again about two and a half years before. We had spent two years in Thailand and had recently returned. After some months back, I met Claudia. In the mean time, my dad had started working on a new project that would take him to Indonesia for weeks at a time. I was fiercely independent and proud at the time, strong willed and I had recently discovered my skill with word. A difficult youth. đ
I started bringing Claudia home while my parents were away in Indonesia. When they came back after a few weeks, they were surprised to discover that I had girlfriend and that she was sleeping in my room. âNot under my roof,â my stepmom said. My father didnât know what to say but argued that I should respect my stepmomâs wishes. Half a year of family ice-age followed. Then my parents moved to Indonesia for two years.
This time, it was decided, I would not come along. I was old enough, and Iâd just stay in our appartment while my dad my and my stepmom went to Indonesia. Plus we werenât getting along anyway, so I was happy, too. Before they came back, I had started studying biology in ZĂźrich, and decided to move there. When they came back, the appartment was empty.
As I said, very difficult. đ
In all those years, Claudiaâs parents were not really important to us. She had very good relations with her family, and I wasnât interested in family life. Like a lone wolf-wannabe, I met them when I got invited, but didnât look forward to it. Years passed.
I never asked them what they thought of me back then. But I can guess. đ
These days, they key questions are: 1. Why donât you live together? 2. Why donât you marry? 3. And what about kids?
See 2005-03-10 Love, for example.
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The father has a slightly different view of the story: There was never any word at home about a girl. This subject was just not discussed nor mentioned by you. So, we thought this is just not existing. Then all of a sudden there is a girl in the apartment, without presentation, without introducing her to Ana (I was not at home). So Ana decided the girl can not stay over night. She was not sure, you could have met just the same day.
There was a lack of communication and you have been upset, how can we presume of you that you take a girl from the street and bring her up to sleep with you!! Now you were angry with Ana and when I came home (some days or most likely weeks later), I supported Anaâs decision (also because of her religious reasons) which made it all worse. But soon, we both left for Indonesia and you were all alone in the appartment.
But is seems, we have overcome the problem. However, the son still remebers the incident!!!
â Helmut Schroeder 2005-05-14 01:03 UTC